Michael had his first middle school dance last Friday night, although it is more like a giant party than a traditional dance. In addition to pseudo-dancing to the music played by the DJ in the school's gym, there was foosball, ping pong, guitar hero and other games along with a massive amount of junk food. I know this, because Alex and I snuck in before the party concluded to see how things were going.
As soon as I walked in the door, I spied my old offensive line coach and we chatted for a bit. He told me that the "dances" were hilarious, and that, for the most part, they boys and girls "ran after each other" and maybe "by the final song they would get in a dance." When we caught up with Michael we found him hanging out with Sterling and Nathan, both kids that are on his football team; he just met these kids a few weeks ago, and this type of camaraderie generated is a big part of the payoff of being on the team.
Of course, these events aren't all about male bonding; the entire school was there, including his friend Suzanne. I would have talked to her, but she and Michael were literally running after each other as the final few songs blasted in the gym that night. They didn't dance, but this was only his first opportunity.
RAPatton (9.16.2009)
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Footsteps
Even though Michael has moved on to Middle School, Alex remains at Eli Pinney and even has one of his brother’s previous instructors, Mrs. Archer. For a younger sibling it often seems that you are often walking in someone else’s path, which can be comforting but also constricting.
A great thing about Alex is that he is one who, for the most part, leverages the trail blazed for ahead to his advantage. He sees what is to come and takes what he likes. For instance, Michael now has a study hall; Alex likes the idea, and even though he has no significant amount of homework, has embraced the concept, and has decided that he is going to start a study hall of his own, after school one day a week. Being a social creature, he has already roped in Kami and Jane to join him.
As much as he loves, admires and looks at Michael’s choices for guidance, Alex isn’t quite a follower. He doesn’t so much rebel against his brother as choose his own path as shown by his choice to play guitar, his preference for action over comedy in entertainment and his social nature. In Alex’s case, there is no doubt that he admires his brother but following in his footsteps doesn’t mean he doesn’t make his own along the way.
RAP (9.15.2009)
A great thing about Alex is that he is one who, for the most part, leverages the trail blazed for ahead to his advantage. He sees what is to come and takes what he likes. For instance, Michael now has a study hall; Alex likes the idea, and even though he has no significant amount of homework, has embraced the concept, and has decided that he is going to start a study hall of his own, after school one day a week. Being a social creature, he has already roped in Kami and Jane to join him.
As much as he loves, admires and looks at Michael’s choices for guidance, Alex isn’t quite a follower. He doesn’t so much rebel against his brother as choose his own path as shown by his choice to play guitar, his preference for action over comedy in entertainment and his social nature. In Alex’s case, there is no doubt that he admires his brother but following in his footsteps doesn’t mean he doesn’t make his own along the way.
RAP (9.15.2009)
Thursday, September 3, 2009
A Good Start
Michael started middle school last week and things seem to be going pretty well. It is a big change, but he has stepped into those shoes and they seem to fit; perhaps I should say it was the reading glasses that fit, because the same pair he refused to wear last school year suddenly became part of his wardrobe as he rushed over to see Suzanne at the bus stop.
He is on the same "team" (6-2) as some of the kids from his football team and has been having lunch with his teammates Sterling (a sweet, big, happy kid who wears red cleats) and Nathan (a new kid from Centerville). He enjoyed his homeroom teacher, Mrs. Honeycutt, is especially excited about Tech Lab (an afternoon class where they learn about computer animation, graphic design) and thinks his science teacher Mr. Baker is "really funny."
The greatest hallmark of change came after the first day of school, when he wasn't even home. I had rushed home to change after my workout, so I could go watch him, and his brother, at football practice, when the door bell rang. It was Suzanne. She let me know it would be OK for Michael to ask her to go to one of his games or a choir concert, and if he wanted to, he could watch her tennis match or come to her concert. It seems that middle school is off to a good start.
RAP (9.3.2009)
He is on the same "team" (6-2) as some of the kids from his football team and has been having lunch with his teammates Sterling (a sweet, big, happy kid who wears red cleats) and Nathan (a new kid from Centerville). He enjoyed his homeroom teacher, Mrs. Honeycutt, is especially excited about Tech Lab (an afternoon class where they learn about computer animation, graphic design) and thinks his science teacher Mr. Baker is "really funny."
The greatest hallmark of change came after the first day of school, when he wasn't even home. I had rushed home to change after my workout, so I could go watch him, and his brother, at football practice, when the door bell rang. It was Suzanne. She let me know it would be OK for Michael to ask her to go to one of his games or a choir concert, and if he wanted to, he could watch her tennis match or come to her concert. It seems that middle school is off to a good start.
RAP (9.3.2009)
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Shepherd and Rockin' Sheep
As the dawn of their teenage years approaches, I expect that music is going to become more important to the boys, as it often does at that age. As their father, it is my responsibility to shepherd them as they discover their musical taste to help them discover the better material and avoid the musical junk food. I've always had them listen to what I listen to, and that has shaped them to this point. One of my happier moments was when a very small Michael charmed the sales girls at Vroman's Bookstore singing "Molly's Chambers" as I checked out years ago.
This past year I've decided that they are old enough to start attending live shows. They've had a pretty good time, enjoyed some of the performances and they liked hearing from all the enthusiastic (and drunk) concert goers about how "cool" it is that they are there. To this point, we've only taken them to outdoor shows, so as not to damage their hearing, but I've been able to take them to meet a few bands for smaller acoustic sets at indoor locations. One such opportunity happened Monday afternoon of last week when I was able to introduce the boys to the lovely Emily Haines and James Shaw of Metric; it was quite a thrill, and, I hope, a memory that will last. It was a good way to cap off the summer, but school has started and with it homework. Yesterday, Michael had to fill out a questionnaire as part of his choir homework. I glanced over it, and when I saw that he wrote "Alternative" for his preference in music, I smiled.
RAP (8.27.2009)
This past year I've decided that they are old enough to start attending live shows. They've had a pretty good time, enjoyed some of the performances and they liked hearing from all the enthusiastic (and drunk) concert goers about how "cool" it is that they are there. To this point, we've only taken them to outdoor shows, so as not to damage their hearing, but I've been able to take them to meet a few bands for smaller acoustic sets at indoor locations. One such opportunity happened Monday afternoon of last week when I was able to introduce the boys to the lovely Emily Haines and James Shaw of Metric; it was quite a thrill, and, I hope, a memory that will last. It was a good way to cap off the summer, but school has started and with it homework. Yesterday, Michael had to fill out a questionnaire as part of his choir homework. I glanced over it, and when I saw that he wrote "Alternative" for his preference in music, I smiled.
RAP (8.27.2009)
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
The Task is the Reward
Finding the right thing to motivate a child isn't always the easiest thing to do. I almost always prefer the carrot to the stick because, although you can make them do something with a stick, I'd rather have them make themselves do it to acquire the carrot.
Somewhere between all the books, films and travels, an essential skill of childhood had fallen through the cracks for Alex; he had never learned to ride a bike. Part of it was the time; the good weather months are always very busy. The other component of the equation was that he never really had any interest it. Early this summer, I finally discovered what would make a bicycle appealing to him; he lit up at the prospect of riding to the pool with Michael. The sort of freedom and adventure it could bring was too much for him to resist any longer. I acquired a bicycle for him that would be easier to learn on than his brother's, and we worked with him. As the summer progressed, he became better and better at riding. And last week he was ready to ride off to the pool with his brother (shown here).
I prefer to use rewards are as motivation, but it is especially sweet when you can find a confluence where the task itself is part of the reward, and I am hopeful that they will realize that most things that seem hard can take them places they may want to go.
RAP 8.26.2009
Somewhere between all the books, films and travels, an essential skill of childhood had fallen through the cracks for Alex; he had never learned to ride a bike. Part of it was the time; the good weather months are always very busy. The other component of the equation was that he never really had any interest it. Early this summer, I finally discovered what would make a bicycle appealing to him; he lit up at the prospect of riding to the pool with Michael. The sort of freedom and adventure it could bring was too much for him to resist any longer. I acquired a bicycle for him that would be easier to learn on than his brother's, and we worked with him. As the summer progressed, he became better and better at riding. And last week he was ready to ride off to the pool with his brother (shown here).
I prefer to use rewards are as motivation, but it is especially sweet when you can find a confluence where the task itself is part of the reward, and I am hopeful that they will realize that most things that seem hard can take them places they may want to go.
RAP 8.26.2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
A Stroll on their Own
I've always tried to watch the same movies and television programs as the boys, just as I encourage them to read books I've read. It controls the quality of storytelling they take in, steering them towards (what I believe) to be better written and execute material, but it also gives us something that we can relate with and talk about; it acts as a cornerstone as they share what they thought about a particular piece.
However, they are getting older, and as much as I see myself in each, they are not just a subset of me, and they have to be allowed to become their own people (with guidance), with their own tastes and experiences. For the most part, I've been hanging farther back in recent times, usually within ear shot. This summer I've taken it a step farther, by allowing them to go to the movies nominally on their own. They have to stay together, I give them a cell phone, and I choose earlier less crowded shows, but they are watching it on their own. At Michael's age, I would often spend the day at the cinema, watching film after film, and it seemed that they were ready for this step. Of course, while not in earshot, I am not to far away; just the next theater over, in case they need me, or more typically so that they can share what they loved about the movie.
RAP (8.21.2009)
However, they are getting older, and as much as I see myself in each, they are not just a subset of me, and they have to be allowed to become their own people (with guidance), with their own tastes and experiences. For the most part, I've been hanging farther back in recent times, usually within ear shot. This summer I've taken it a step farther, by allowing them to go to the movies nominally on their own. They have to stay together, I give them a cell phone, and I choose earlier less crowded shows, but they are watching it on their own. At Michael's age, I would often spend the day at the cinema, watching film after film, and it seemed that they were ready for this step. Of course, while not in earshot, I am not to far away; just the next theater over, in case they need me, or more typically so that they can share what they loved about the movie.
RAP (8.21.2009)
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Hail to the King, the Raiders and those on the Road
We've taken the boys to Mardi Gras (not once, but twice), on hikes down to blacks sand beaches and erupting volcanoes, to the best museums (Metropolitan Museum of Art, Smithsonian, Getty Villa, Field Museum etc.) and have exposed them to a variety of other experiences to broaden their view of the world in order to help them find what parts of it are for them. A component of that effort has been bringing them to the CAPA Summer Movie Series at the Ohio Theater each year to show them some of the best films ever made the way they were meant to be seen. Well, perhaps Raiders of the Lost Ark, which we took in last Saturday night, was not meant to be seen with an intermission and with an organist, but it was meant to be taken in with an audience that laughed and cheered; having 1,800 of your closest friends giggle and clap as Indy pulls his gun on the swordsman at the market in Cairo is something that you don't get when you watch it on your plasma screen TV, even on Blu-Ray.
Another film I took them to view was the 1933 version of King Kong. They really had no idea what Kong was going to look like, and just as audiences had to patiently wait 70 years ago, so did they. When the King of Skull Island appeared there was a small amount of delight, and a bit of dismissal from the kids of the CGI era with the cutting edge claymation of the 1930s. However, it soon entranced them as Kong fought a Stegosaurus, an Apatosaurus and T. Rex in succession. After the production, they claymation was all they could talk about, and in the twinkle of their eyes once could see new avenues open up in their imaginations.
Next week I hope to take the to Hope & Crosby's Road to Bali. It is an entirely different sort of film from Kong and Raiders, but I suspect that they were really like Hope's humor. Maybe the will, perhaps they won't, but it will add to their experiences, and give them something more to pull from, a perspective broader than just the days that they have lived.
RAP (8.20.2009)
Another film I took them to view was the 1933 version of King Kong. They really had no idea what Kong was going to look like, and just as audiences had to patiently wait 70 years ago, so did they. When the King of Skull Island appeared there was a small amount of delight, and a bit of dismissal from the kids of the CGI era with the cutting edge claymation of the 1930s. However, it soon entranced them as Kong fought a Stegosaurus, an Apatosaurus and T. Rex in succession. After the production, they claymation was all they could talk about, and in the twinkle of their eyes once could see new avenues open up in their imaginations.
Next week I hope to take the to Hope & Crosby's Road to Bali. It is an entirely different sort of film from Kong and Raiders, but I suspect that they were really like Hope's humor. Maybe the will, perhaps they won't, but it will add to their experiences, and give them something more to pull from, a perspective broader than just the days that they have lived.
RAP (8.20.2009)
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